Alasdair wanted to become a Mormon, but he was afraid to tell his mother. She saw the Church of Latter-day Saints as a cult. So he simply lived as a Mormon, keeping a copy of the Book of Mormon under the bed, where she wouldn’t find it. He followed the commandments he had read about alcohol, tea, and coffee. Sometimes he noticed a cute boy at school, and out of respect for Mormonism he pushed those thoughts away. He could sort out his feelings when he was allowed to feel them, when he outgrew the chastity of youth.